Sometimes You Just Need a Hug

MUST REMEMBER THIS!!!

So, where to begin in this post?  Balance…If you can believe it, yes, life has gotten a little more hectic – another monkey wrench or two thrown into the mix of life.  All was almost balanced – house, kiddies, online college courses, spiritual development, devotions and practices.  Now however, due to my husband’s new work schedule that now keeps him from the house almost 16 hours a day with unknown days off in between, I came to the hard and sudden realization on Monday that I’m going to have to yet again, make some changes in my life – really sit down, prioritize and effectively manage my time or I will burn out.  This has been showing up quite a bit in my daily Rune readings  with Ehwaz on an almost daily basis and  quite recently Jera in opposition – indicating a setback, a need for readjusting and asking for help and Isa – again, time to slow down!  This really sucks as I HATE change!  I’ve just started attending a Seeker’s Course with The Nine Worlds American Kindred which is about an hour’s drive for me, am studying and have recently been initiated into the Apple Branch and am in the middle of completing the Dedicant Path with the ADF (well, actually trying to play catch up as I originally wanted to have it completed within a year of joining the ADF, but that may or may not be a realistic goal right now…).  I think, why have these opportunities presented themselves only to be taken away (referring to the Seeker’s Course in particular)??

To add to all of this, I’ve also been dealing with some uncomfortable health issues and upon visiting the doctor on Monday, left me with 2 choices of treatment: (1) major surgery with the removal of an organ that I’m not quite ready to part with yet (and plus I have no one to help me during recovery time should I choose that method of treatment) or (2) hormone injections (which sucks because I like the way I feel not being on hormones).  Overwhelmed…feeling quite overwhelmed and ever so slightly grumpy…

My most recent and amazing Full Moon ritual back on March 28 gives me some relief and comfort knowing that things will be OK when I reflect back on it.  Upon welcoming Freyja and lighting Her candle, the candle began to literally crackle and pop, putting on a most amazing light show that left me speechless and heart racing until the flame settled back down; there was no doubt that She was there.  Personal offerings were made, I had a most amazing and powerful experience in a meditation from a Daily Om course I had ordered last month that I finally started, followed by a Rune reading: Uruz, Eihwaz, and Raidho.  My interpretation indicated inner strength coming into effect in daily life – think before acting, take responsibility or act with responsibility and I will have the power to overcome any obstacle.  Still holding onto outdated beliefs or desires (yes, this was also told to me at Ostara – I have broken many restraints but there are still a few I need to break), do NOT resist change.  Trust and take control – know the true nature, seasons and cycles; BALANCE action with planning and reflection.

And in walks Frigga who has been sitting back since December and observing in Her strong, quiet, and all-knowing way…Perhaps it’s time to develop my home, hearth and kitchen Craft.  As She is associated with the home and also with magic, given my circumstances of severely limited to now non-existant solo travel time, I do feel it’s time to work with Her and learn these things necessary to master said Craft.

Reading Nimue Brown’s post “The Druid balancing act” yesterday was very inspirational and spoke to me…

Freyja rides atop Hildisvíni to visit Hyndla (1895) by Lorenz Frølich.

Also on an interesting note, yesterday’s Goddess of the Day was Rindr.  My daily Rune draw included Isa – associated with Rindr.  Given Her story in lore and some past issues I’ve dealt with that still do affect my life today, I feel as though Freyja is sending me to Rindr.  Just as Freyja had to visit the giantess Hyndla to get answers She needed, so too must I visit Rindr to get answers and knowledge needed to progress – just hopefully the meeting(s) won’t  be as confrontational…

So, as it stands right now, I need to slow down and take a step back, look at the bigger picture and prioritize – decide what has to be cut back or be put on the back burner for now.  A lot of my work is going to have to be solo or online.  I will try to make it out to Alabama or up to Atlanta for the High Days with the kiddies as I can because I do need some “real time” contact with community for the sake of sanity.  As a dear and wise mentor pointed out yesterday, balance is very important!

Welcome Freyja!

Wow, it has been too long since I’ve written last.  As I’ve stated in my other blog, The Journeys of a Nomadic Pagan, “Reflections During the Dark Moon“, life has gotten extremely busy for me and I’ve found it difficult to sit down and write about all the cool things going on.  If you recall from an earlier post, “The Dark Mother Does NOT Hold Back and Other Things“, I was having a very intense time with Odin making his presence overwhelmingly known in my life.  It seemed as though Odin was there, all the time, pushing me so hard in the pursuit of  knowledge that I was putting everyday activities to the side, constantly trying to play catch up late at night with everyday mundane activities.  I had to tell Odin that my family and my children come first in my life right now.  Then, in stepped Freyja and everything changed…

“Freyja” by Kris Waldherr

I don’t recall the exact date now – looking back though, I’d say that at around February 23rd (I know it was after a conversation that I was having with a good friend of mine on February 20, telling her how I felt like there was more work that I felt needed to be done or to prove myself before I could connect with Freyja; but before the Full Moon on February 25th because I dedicated that Full Moon rite to Her) Freyja made a surprising visit as I was falling asleep one night.  I was right on the verge or falling asleep, when you’re in that in-between state, but still somewhat conscious of what’s going on around you.  All of a sudden, I “saw” these bright prisms or rays of white/blue/purple/pink light beam down and light everything up.  Then, I saw Her – She was very similar in appearance to Kris Waldherr’s depiction of Freyja, chariot and cats and all, but different – Her hair was brighter or a lighter blonde and the clothing She was dressed in lighter colored clothing, white and grey.

Her energy was amazing and completely surrounded me – every breath I was taking in felt as though I was breathing Her energy into my lungs and engulfed my body.  The only way I can describe it is warm kitten fur – seriously – it felt like warm soft kitten fur!

That night, She made it very clear that She was here to stick around and has even given me certain requirements or tasks that She strongly suggests me to do if I am to represent Her and become one of Her priestesses; and since then Odin has stepped back, way back.   It was almost as though She had to “step in” and acting in a protective manner and tell Odin to step back for a while.  Later, I found (and I can’t remember the source – still looking for it) that Freyja was the only Goddess that could, for whatever reason, really stand up to Odin and have him step back from a person that he had a hold on as it were.  I think it might have to do with the fact that She had taught Odin magic and that gave Her the authority to do so, or the fact that Freyja has the first pick of souls of the slain or fallen warriors as Lady Imbrium had mentioned.

This new deep connection with the gods of the Norse pantheon almost made me feel conflicted in a way.  You see, for my ADF hearth culture, I was sure on my choice of the Celtic or Gaulish pantheons to work with.  However, things have taken a real turn and it seems as though the gods of the Norse hearth culture have chosen me.  Funny how that works…but I still continue to honor the Goddesses I feel especially close to and have their altars I set up (The Morrígan, Brighid and Epona/Rhiannon) and things seem and feel OK.  I’m also in the process of setting up my ADF altar to Frigga (who has a real quiet but firm presence in my life – but She doesn’t say too much, She just kind of sits back and observes) and Odin.  In fact, a few weeks back, I actually had a dream of Brighid and Freyja.  Their images were on a single card from the Goddess Guidance Oracle deck by Doreen Virtue.  It kept spinning, Freyja on one side and Brighid on the other.  To me, it signified balance and a feeling that it was OK to work with both pantheons, but that they should not be mixed.  Balance was the key.

I’ve also noticed I’ve been dreaming of runes and seeing them more often.  I had a dream one night of runes that appeared from the usual swirling grey mists in my “spiritual dreams”.  Out of the mists Fehu and Gebo appeared.  These runes apparently have some type of significance to Her (as does Ehwaz I’ve been finding out).  A few others appeared too, but I don’t remember them – Berkano, Jera, and Mannaz seem to be standing out; but those first two are the two that really stand out in my memory.  Also, there are times when I close my eyes and runes just seem to swirl around and around….

My personal altar to Freyja – a work in progress.

I have since set up a personal altar to Her in my bedroom by my bed side, making daily offerings to Her of different sweet-smelling incense that She seems to enjoy (strawberry, latin lover, and amber romance).  She also made it known that She likes pearls.  This was a little strange to me as She is a fertility Vanir Goddess, more closely associated with the earth I thought – how was She connected with the sea?  But looking at Her father, Njörðr, god of the sea and weather, it makes a little more sense.  Then I found this wonderful blog entry, “M is for Mardöll“, it made much more sense.  Plus, She just thinks they’re really pretty – She likes pretty things 😉

I continue to speak with Her and give Her praises daily, and She in turn comforts me, helps to remind me to go within and find my center when I’m angry or upset, and tells me what work needs to be done in the healing process I’ve started back in February.  The relationship I’ve been working on building with Her is amazing.  She is so strong and confident, an amazing healer and full of wisdom and knowledge that will come to me in time with hard work (there are things that She has advised me I NEED to learn and WILL learn) as She sees fit and feels I am ready.  The new found healing, love, confidence, blessings and opportunities that have presented themselves within the past month or so have been so amazing and transformative – unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.  Welcome Freyja!  Hail and praises to you Sweet Lady!

A Call to Brighid

“Keeper of the Sacred Flame” by =Everild-Wolfden

Sweet Brighid so fair and bright,

love and joy radiate from your face.

On the eve of your holiest day

a candle invites you into my house this night.

Enter in and be welcome in this place

A bed is made for you to rest your head.

Bestow upon us your gifts of peace and light.

Before parting on your sacred journey

making the land green as you roam,

impart your blessing of protection on this home.

~ Poem written by April Guardi; February 2, 2011

I Hear You Calling…

Happy Full Moon Blessings!

 

“I Hear You Calling” by  Chalice and Blade.  Another video I had put together last year – a creative dedication to the Goddess. Enjoy and Brightest of Blessings! )O(

 

 

Lyrics

Once in a month, when the moon is full
Some secret place shall ye gather.
Adore the spirit of me who is
Queen of all of the wise.

And I hear you calling (2x)

Sing and dance
Feast and make love
All in my name
For mine is the spirit in ecstasy
Mine is joy on Earth

And I hear you calling (2x)

Mine is the secret that opens the door
Unto the land of youth.
Mine is the cup of wine, of life.
Cauldron of Cerridwen.

And I hear you calling (2x)

I give freedom and I give peace
Reunion with those gone before.
I am the mother of all that lives.
My love is poured on the Earth.

And I hear you calling (2x)

I am the beauty of the green Earth
White moon among the stars.
I am the mystery of the waters.
Desire in the hearts of man.

And I hear you calling. (2x)

I call to Soul
Arise, come to me.
For I am the heart of nature.
And I give life to the universe.
For I am she.

And I hear you calling. (2x)

From me all things do proceed.
To me they must return.
May your divine, innermost infinite soul
Enrapture be embraced.

And I hear you calling. (2x)

Let my worship be in your heart and rejoice.
All acts of love are mine.
Let there be beauty, strength, and pleasure
All are my rites.

And I hear you calling. (2x)

And you who think to seek for me
Know that it avails ye not.
Unless you know the mystery
Look deep within.
And I hear you calling. (2x)

For the hunt
I have been with thee
Since the beginning of time.
And I am that which ye shall attain.
The end of desire.
And I hear you calling. (6x)

I Claim This Space in the Name of Brighid!

“I claim this space in the name of Brighid!” I thought to myself as I staked Her flag proudly in front of our house this afternoon.  Today, we got into the garage and went through all of those items (outdoor decor, my holiday decorations, tools, and outdoors type items) to assess them, organize and repack as needed.  I was relieved to find all my items in tact and set to separating them into their own separate boxes (Imbolc, Beltaine, Samhain items, etc.) as the packers sometimes throw crazy things into boxes regardless of the fact that I had them organized and separated before hand, but anyways…I digress…

I made a long overdue introduction to the Nature Spirits that dwell in the charming little area in front of our house and left offerings of milk, bread and honey.  It felt appropriate and that the offerings were accepted and set to decorating it with my usual little “garden residents” as one of my friends had put it.  “Ah yes,” I thought; “The Goddess has come.”

This place seemed perfect – first off, I LOVED the stones surrounding this space.  The spot in which I placed my Goddess seemed a cozy fit – surrounded by what looks to be some type of rose bushes.

I also loved the stone slabs that were left inside the “Circle of Stones” which served as perfect little perches for my little animals and this stone serves as a perfect little altar on which to leave offerings.

We also went through the houseplants today and broke apart ones that had overgrown their pots, appeared to be root bound and re-potted them.  I always get nervous doing this as I’m scared of destroying or hurting the plant.  I know that it needs to be done and it’s what’s best for the plants’ health and survival, but I always get nervous – as if they’re going through surgery that needs to be done but still nervous about the outcome…silly, I know – but hey, they’re part of our family too and I care about what happens to them 🙂

 

New Beginnings

Well, we made it!  We made it down to Fort Benning, GA, into our new house and had our household goods delivered all within 6 days…which is a record for us (this is our 4th PCS move) and maybe in the history of the Army even, LoL!  Who knows…Anyways, we’re settling into our new house nicely – everything is finding it’s place slowly but surely and nothing appears to be too badly damaged or broken.  I’ve even started networking and am looking forward to meeting with the Pagan Community (I hope that term is OK in light of  “the Great Pagan Debate” that’s sparked within the past week or so…) in the surrounding area; albeit it’s in a whole other state, Alabama.  I’m want to be open – open to new possibilities and experiences, especially in this new area that we just moved to.  I want to take in and get to know all the natural energies and Nature Spirits around us.  It’s a time for new beginnings…

You see, I feel kind of empty and outdated.  I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it.  I want a fresh start – to transform and begin anew.  Transform what though?  My home?  Well, it doesn’t get any newer than what we just got.  My daily routines?  My spiritual practices?  My life?  I just have this feeling of wanting to organize – EVERYTHING!  Of course, I’m sure my Virgo nature amongst the chaos has something to do with this overwhelming feeling of wanting to organize everything.  This feeling even ran down to something as simple as setting my altar to Brighid back up this evening for my flamekeeping shift.

I don’t know…maybe it is the Imbolc energies that Grey Catsidhe had written about earlier today (even though it feels like it has skipped Imbolc and went straight into Ostara down here).  Maybe I’m waiting for my personal Imbolc…

12 Days of Yule Devotionals – Day 12

“Great sun, wheel of fire, Ra in your glory,
hear me as I honor you
on this, the shortest day of the year.
Summer has gone, passed us by,
the fields are dead and cold,
all of earth sleeps in your absence.
Even in the darkest times,
you light the way for those who would need a beacon,
of hope, of brightness,
shining in the night.
Winter is here, and colder days coming,
the fields are bare and the livestock thin.
We light these candles in your honor,
that you might gather your strength
and bring life back to the world.
O Ra, mighty sun above us,
we ask you to return, to bring back to us
the light and the warmth of your fire.
Bring life back to earth,
Bring light back to earth.
Hail Ra! Ruler of the sun!” ~ Patti Wigington

 

 

 

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yulethelongestnight/qt/SunGodYule.htm

Happy New Year!

May the Goddess bless you with love & laughter to lighten your days,
and warm your heart & home.

May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.

May the Goddess bless you with peace and plenty and bless your world
with joy that long endures.

May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Well, there you have it – 365 Goddesses 🙂  Wow, have I really researched and completed that many Goddess entries??  Well, kind of…I plan to go through and “clean-up” some of the earlier entries (primarily Jan 2012 – March 2012) because I wasn’t using the same techniques or format back then when I first started that I’ve been using now – it just kind of evolved and progressed as we made our way through this journey.  I’ll also be checking for broken links and adding additional “Suggested Links” as I come across new information and plan to reorganize the Goddess entries into different categories (i.e. by culture, etc.).  If there is a Goddess that you’d like to see researched, let me know as I have a few of my own that weren’t covered this year (the Morrigan and Demeter for example).

This however will be my last post for awhile.  We will be in the process of actually packing and moving starting tomorrow and I’m not sure when we’ll be settled into our new home in Georgia or when we’ll be back online.  Till then, I’ll check in when I can from my iPhone.

Goddess Bless!!!

12 Days of Yule Devotionals – Day 11

“In the middle of winter, it’s hard to remember sometimes that light is coming back to earth. However, despite the gray, cloudy days, we know that soon, the sun will return. Keep this in mind during those dreary days when it seems winter will never end, by invoking the four classical elements.

“Solstice Eve” by Willow Arlenea

As the earth grows colder,
the winds blow faster,
the fire dwindles smaller,
and the rains fall harder,
let the light of the sun
find its way home.” ~ Patti Wigington

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yuleprayers/qt/ElementPrayer.htm

12 Days of Yule Devotionals – Day 10

The Celtic people knew the importance of the solstice. Although the Yule season marks the middle of winter, colder times were still to come. It was important to put aside staple foods for the coming months, because it would be many months before anything fresh grew again. Consider, as you think on this devotional, what your family has put aside — both material goods and things on the spiritual plane.

A flock of sheep grazing in the snow on the hills outside Doagh, County Antrim.

The food is put away for the winter,
the crops are set aside to feed us,
the cattle are come down from their fields,
and the sheep are in from the pasture.
The land is cold, the sea is stormy, the sky is gray.
The nights are dark, but we have our family,
kin and clan around the hearth,
staying warm in the midst of darkness,
our spirit and love a flame
a beacon burning brightly
in the night.

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yuleprayers/qt/CeltYulePrayer.htm