No; not in the least as I found out last night…She doesn’t sugar-coat anything and is brutally honest, but I’ll get to that. So, were to begin? Well, I guess let’s start out with yesterday, shall we? All day I had been feeling very much out of sorts – irritable, agitated, scatterbrained and anxious. This actually really surprised me because I’d been rolling along all happy and feeling full of inspiration, riding the out the Imbolc high. Yesterday started out weird, very much feeling Odin’s persistent tap on the shoulder just to let me know that he’s still here (yes, thanks for reminding me – as if I didn’t know that!) Anywho, Odin seems to be making more and more frequent appearances as of late; showing up in a lot of books, articles and blogs I read, meeting people who have a strong connection with him and reading and listening to their experiences – some of which totally freaked me out, which probably led to a lot of my discontent yesterday. I’m not going to lie – it scares me. How the hell could I have attracted the attention of such a deity?? For some of you who know me personally, you know that I tend to be more on the Dianic side. I’ve never felt a connection with any god…until Odin starting making an appearance here and there when I was living in Alaska several years ago. I’m quite aware of the berserker and warrior side of him, but to be honest, I don’t know or see that side of him. Coming across this from Wyrd Dottir kind of set my mind (and soul) at ease – THANK YOU! To me, he appears very sagely – almost Gandalf-ish, very much “Odin, the Wanderer“. He’s so wise; yet he’s curious, still thirsting for knowledge. He craves wisdom, knowledge and inspires and drives me to seek out and do the same, soaking it up like a sponge and leaving me wanting more. I feel like he’s hanging over my shoulder, even now as I write this to see what’s going on – to see what I’m doing or reading, seeing what wisdom and knowledge might lie there. So, now what? As much as I’ve been trying to ignore him hoping that he’ll leave me along and go away, he’s still there…Yet, a part of me instinctively knows, knows what? Knows that he’s not going away and that I may need him as much as he needs me.
So, working on this internal struggle during a solar eruption that happened yesterday – and a pretty intense one at that. A little FYI about solar flares – according to Astrologyinaction.com, “In addition to affecting Earth, solar flares affect each of us both physiologically and astrologically. The Sun is the giver of all life. Astrologically, the Sun is our primary influence, determining our character, our behavior and our purpose. When the Sun experiences high solar flare activity, it’s normal for us to feel physiological disruptions or just simply feel off kilter. In fact, when either of our luminaries experience celestial events, we are affected in a rather personal way.” Also, visit Carliniinstitute.com and read “The Effects of Recent Solar Flares“. During such events, Heather Carlini advises to “be sure to drink extra water when we are having solar flares. The reason is that it takes extra water from the brain to process these energies. I also suggest vitamin B complex and a product from the health food store called Curamin as this helps. Omega 3 is also needed at this time. Cut back on caffeine as it revves up the nervous system even more during high solar activity. Also for upset stomach, tap on the cheekbones on both sides of the face just under the eyes as this helps release energy blockages in the stomach.” Well now, I guess this explains a lot…
Moving onto last night’s ritual. I set up my altar downstairs after making sure the kids were asleep so I’d have no interruptions. Well, I guess I should’ve made sure the husband was asleep as well…ugh, a whole other topic that I don’t need to get into here. My ritual wasn’t dedicated to any Dark Mother or Crone in particular. I lit my black candle and charcoal that didn’t seem to want to light or stay lit, burned sage and lavender to purify and consecrate the space (which apparently was the main cause of discontent with my husband), and followed a real loose ADF COoR inspired ritual. I had my iPhone ready with what seemed like an appropriate guided meditation/self-hypnosis to the Underworld setup ready to go, pen, paper, runes and Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Cards (just because I wasn’t sure what method of divination I wanted to use and wanted to make sure I had some options depending on what felt right at the moment). I made offerings of Dragon’s Blood resin and whiskey to the Dark Mother and decided to grab my bag of runes to take an omen – to see if my offerings had been accepted and that it was OK to proceed to Her. This was the first time using runes as I’ve always been intimated for some reason by them. I’d been reading about them for awhile now and felt confident enough to say “what the heck, let’s try it tonight.” I’m actually pretty glad I did because they were easier for me to use and interpret than what I had previously thought. Well, let’s just say that my first rune I picked wasn’t all that great – Tiwaz inverted. This seemed to sum it pretty well (as well as here and here). It was actually pretty disheartening, but deep down, I knew to be true. I then drew another after asking my new main question, “How do I change this?” I picked Sowilo – a very good rune that gave me hope and encouragement. Then as I was putting them back, Isa dropped out followed by Dagaz. My interpretation – Yes, I’ve got some shit to work out that has been holding me back, keeping my energy drained and not fulfilling my potential. I do need to prove myself and can’t expect things to be handed to me. However, Sowilo offers hope – it’s the sun, fire – perhaps a guide of sorts that will light my way and melt the stagnant and depression that Isa signifies. However, Isa isn’t all that bad either, because sometimes you do need to rest, take a step back and be cautious before trekking forward. Dagaz is my goal – learning balance, receiving enlightenment from Odin and learning to balance and appreciate the Male and Female aspects of the Divine. I’ve also been reading Northern Mysteries and Magick by Freya Aswenn and Taking Up the Runes by Diana Paxson that seem to be very helpful in understanding and connecting their message together. Needless to say, I pretty much ended the ritual there.
So now what? It’s been an interesting time – with the sparks and lightning flashes at Imbolc, the New Moon in Aquarius, this recent solar flare and Mercury in “the Shadow” getting ready to go retrograde…Oy vey! Well, for me, it maybe a time to heed Isa, it’s time to open up, sit back and think – it’s time to realize my goals. It’s time to organize and plan. It’s time to think about what is really important and what will aid me in achieving my goals. It’s time to plant those seeds and really nurture them. It’s a time to learn balance – to balance Isa with Sowlio’s warm nurturing sun energy to achieve Dagaz…all while keeping in mind however Mercury is getting ready to go retrograde here on February 23 (Mercury entered “the Shadow” on February 8. According to Sue on Magnoliaswest.com pertaining to Mercury entering “the Shadow”: “This window is when you may become aware of what you will be dealing with in the coming retrograde cycle. Events and situations that arise for you during this time will continue to unfold during the retrograde itself.”) So get ready my friends!