Wow, it has been too long since I’ve written last. As I’ve stated in my other blog, The Journeys of a Nomadic Pagan, “Reflections During the Dark Moon“, life has gotten extremely busy for me and I’ve found it difficult to sit down and write about all the cool things going on. If you recall from an earlier post, “The Dark Mother Does NOT Hold Back and Other Things“, I was having a very intense time with Odin making his presence overwhelmingly known in my life. It seemed as though Odin was there, all the time, pushing me so hard in the pursuit of knowledge that I was putting everyday activities to the side, constantly trying to play catch up late at night with everyday mundane activities. I had to tell Odin that my family and my children come first in my life right now. Then, in stepped Freyja and everything changed…
I don’t recall the exact date now – looking back though, I’d say that at around February 23rd (I know it was after a conversation that I was having with a good friend of mine on February 20, telling her how I felt like there was more work that I felt needed to be done or to prove myself before I could connect with Freyja; but before the Full Moon on February 25th because I dedicated that Full Moon rite to Her) Freyja made a surprising visit as I was falling asleep one night. I was right on the verge or falling asleep, when you’re in that in-between state, but still somewhat conscious of what’s going on around you. All of a sudden, I “saw” these bright prisms or rays of white/blue/purple/pink light beam down and light everything up. Then, I saw Her – She was very similar in appearance to Kris Waldherr’s depiction of Freyja, chariot and cats and all, but different – Her hair was brighter or a lighter blonde and the clothing She was dressed in lighter colored clothing, white and grey.
Her energy was amazing and completely surrounded me – every breath I was taking in felt as though I was breathing Her energy into my lungs and engulfed my body. The only way I can describe it is warm kitten fur – seriously – it felt like warm soft kitten fur!
That night, She made it very clear that She was here to stick around and has even given me certain requirements or tasks that She strongly suggests me to do if I am to represent Her and become one of Her priestesses; and since then Odin has stepped back, way back. It was almost as though She had to “step in” and acting in a protective manner and tell Odin to step back for a while. Later, I found (and I can’t remember the source – still looking for it) that Freyja was the only Goddess that could, for whatever reason, really stand up to Odin and have him step back from a person that he had a hold on as it were. I think it might have to do with the fact that She had taught Odin magic and that gave Her the authority to do so, or the fact that Freyja has the first pick of souls of the slain or fallen warriors as Lady Imbrium had mentioned.
This new deep connection with the gods of the Norse pantheon almost made me feel conflicted in a way. You see, for my ADF hearth culture, I was sure on my choice of the Celtic or Gaulish pantheons to work with. However, things have taken a real turn and it seems as though the gods of the Norse hearth culture have chosen me. Funny how that works…but I still continue to honor the Goddesses I feel especially close to and have their altars I set up (The Morrígan, Brighid and Epona/Rhiannon) and things seem and feel OK. I’m also in the process of setting up my ADF altar to Frigga (who has a real quiet but firm presence in my life – but She doesn’t say too much, She just kind of sits back and observes) and Odin. In fact, a few weeks back, I actually had a dream of Brighid and Freyja. Their images were on a single card from the Goddess Guidance Oracle deck by Doreen Virtue. It kept spinning, Freyja on one side and Brighid on the other. To me, it signified balance and a feeling that it was OK to work with both pantheons, but that they should not be mixed. Balance was the key.
I’ve also noticed I’ve been dreaming of runes and seeing them more often. I had a dream one night of runes that appeared from the usual swirling grey mists in my “spiritual dreams”. Out of the mists Fehu and Gebo appeared. These runes apparently have some type of significance to Her (as does Ehwaz I’ve been finding out). A few others appeared too, but I don’t remember them – Berkano, Jera, and Mannaz seem to be standing out; but those first two are the two that really stand out in my memory. Also, there are times when I close my eyes and runes just seem to swirl around and around….
I have since set up a personal altar to Her in my bedroom by my bed side, making daily offerings to Her of different sweet-smelling incense that She seems to enjoy (strawberry, latin lover, and amber romance). She also made it known that She likes pearls. This was a little strange to me as She is a fertility Vanir Goddess, more closely associated with the earth I thought – how was She connected with the sea? But looking at Her father, Njörðr, god of the sea and weather, it makes a little more sense. Then I found this wonderful blog entry, “M is for Mardöll“, it made much more sense. Plus, She just thinks they’re really pretty – She likes pretty things 😉
I continue to speak with Her and give Her praises daily, and She in turn comforts me, helps to remind me to go within and find my center when I’m angry or upset, and tells me what work needs to be done in the healing process I’ve started back in February. The relationship I’ve been working on building with Her is amazing. She is so strong and confident, an amazing healer and full of wisdom and knowledge that will come to me in time with hard work (there are things that She has advised me I NEED to learn and WILL learn) as She sees fit and feels I am ready. The new found healing, love, confidence, blessings and opportunities that have presented themselves within the past month or so have been so amazing and transformative – unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Welcome Freyja! Hail and praises to you Sweet Lady!