Category: Spiritual Nomad


MUST REMEMBER THIS!!!

MUST REMEMBER THIS!!!

So, where to begin in this post?  Balance…If you can believe it, yes, life has gotten a little more hectic – another monkey wrench or two thrown into the mix of life.  All was almost balanced – house, kiddies, online college courses, spiritual development, devotions and practices.  Now however, due to my husband’s new work schedule that now keeps him from the house almost 16 hours a day with unknown days off in between, I came to the hard and sudden realization on Monday that I’m going to have to yet again, make some changes in my life – really sit down, prioritize and effectively manage my time or I will burn out.  This has been showing up quite a bit in my daily Rune readings  with Ehwaz on an almost daily basis and  quite recently Jera in opposition – indicating a setback, a need for readjusting and asking for help and Isa – again, time to slow down!  This really sucks as I HATE change!  I’ve just started attending a Seeker’s Course with The Nine Worlds American Kindred which is about an hour’s drive for me, am studying and have recently been initiated into the Apple Branch and am in the middle of completing the Dedicant Path with the ADF (well, actually trying to play catch up as I originally wanted to have it completed within a year of joining the ADF, but that may or may not be a realistic goal right now…).  I think, why have these opportunities presented themselves only to be taken away (referring to the Seeker’s Course in particular)??

To add to all of this, I’ve also been dealing with some uncomfortable health issues and upon visiting the doctor on Monday, left me with 2 choices of treatment: (1) major surgery with the removal of an organ that I’m not quite ready to part with yet (and plus I have no one to help me during recovery time should I choose that method of treatment) or (2) hormone injections (which sucks because I like the way I feel not being on hormones).  Overwhelmed…feeling quite overwhelmed and ever so slightly grumpy…

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My most recent and amazing Full Moon ritual back on March 28 gives me some relief and comfort knowing that things will be OK when I reflect back on it.  Upon welcoming Freyja and lighting Her candle, the candle began to literally crackle and pop, putting on a most amazing light show that left me speechless and heart racing until the flame settled back down; there was no doubt that She was there.  Personal offerings were made, I had a most amazing and powerful experience in a meditation from a Daily Om course I had ordered last month that I finally started, followed by a Rune reading: Uruz, Eihwaz, and Raidho.  My interpretation indicated inner strength coming into effect in daily life – think before acting, take responsibility or act with responsibility and I will have the power to overcome any obstacle.  Still holding onto outdated beliefs or desires (yes, this was also told to me at Ostara – I have broken many restraints but there are still a few I need to break), do NOT resist change.  Trust and take control – know the true nature, seasons and cycles; BALANCE action with planning and reflection.

And in walks Frigga who has been sitting back since December and observing in Her strong, quiet, and all-knowing way…Perhaps it’s time to develop my home, hearth and kitchen Craft.  As She is associated with the home and also with magic, given my circumstances of severely limited to now non-existant solo travel time, I do feel it’s time to work with Her and learn these things necessary to master said Craft.

Reading Nimue Brown’s post “The Druid balancing act” yesterday was very inspirational and spoke to me…

Freyja rides atop Hildisvíni to visit Hyndla (1895) by Lorenz Frølich.

Freyja rides atop Hildisvíni to visit Hyndla (1895) by Lorenz Frølich.

Also on an interesting note, yesterday’s Goddess of the Day was Rindr.  My daily Rune draw included Isa – associated with Rindr.  Given Her story in lore and some past issues I’ve dealt with that still do affect my life today, I feel as though Freyja is sending me to Rindr.  Just as Freyja had to visit the giantess Hyndla to get answers She needed, so too must I visit Rindr to get answers and knowledge needed to progress – just hopefully the meeting(s) won’t  be as confrontational…

So, as it stands right now, I need to slow down and take a step back, look at the bigger picture and prioritize – decide what has to be cut back or be put on the back burner for now.  A lot of my work is going to have to be solo or online.  I will try to make it out to Alabama or up to Atlanta for the High Days with the kiddies as I can because I do need some “real time” contact with community for the sake of sanity.  As a dear and wise mentor pointed out yesterday, balance is very important!

As winter has ever so slowly been making its way to the North Country, I’ve yet again begun to feel Skadi’s presence.  Along with Her presence, I’ve been feeling a draw or a pull to explore the Norse and Germanic pantheons.  Since I had just finished reading A Dance with Dragons and have at least another 1 1/2 – 2 years before the next book in A Song of Ice and Fire series comes out, I was browsing my bookshelves and wondering what to read next.  My attention was drawn to 3 books in particular; Exploring the Northern Tradition by Galina Krasskova; Essential Ásatrú by Diane L. Paxson and Northern Mysteries and Magick by Freya Aswynn.  I ended up picking Krasskova’s book a few nights ago as it looked like a good intro into the Norse and Germanic beliefs, pantheon and lore.

The book thus far has turned out to be a very good read!  I’m a little over 3/4 of the way through the book and I feel like I have a real good beginner’s understanding of the lore, the cosmology, and the major Gods and Goddesses.  I found myself for the first time really drawn to a God – to the All-Father Odin (who I was drawn to about a year ago while still living in Alaska, but didn’t really follow through with anything.  I guess it wasn’t time…).  I also felt a strong resonation with Frigg, Sif, and Eir.  As I read their lore and through meditations or actions to build a relationship with Them, I could almost feel their energy – very much different from that of the Goddesses I already work with: Brighid, the Morrígan and Epona.

409px-Georg_von_Rosen_-_Oden_som_vandringsman,_1886_(Odin,_the_Wanderer)

“Odin the Wanderer” by Georg von Rosen

In fact, I was getting the feeling that the Morrígan wasn’t very happy about this exploration at all – especially when it came to Odin.  However, I did promise Her an offering (a healthy offering of wine actually to all 3 Goddesses mentioned, also to Danu and the Shining Ones as it had been well past due) and that of course I still honored Her.  I felt it necessary to explain that these Gods and Goddesses I am learning about are also the Gods and Goddesses of my Ancestors as I not only descend from Irish ancestry; but German, English, Dutch, French, Polish, Czechoslovakian, and Sicilian.  I felt that an understanding and a peace had been reached and life was good again.

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Getting back to Frigg, Sif and Eir…Yet again, I’ve been going through a bit of a rough time (hey – it happens to the best of us from time to time) dealing with personal issues.  While I recognize the triggers that set me back and know what I’ll be going through and yes, I will come back out of it – the process of going through PTSD flashbacks still very much sucks.  I could feel Frigg, the All-Mother’s strength and sense of duty flowing in to kind of give me a boost and can still feel Her here now; Sif’s patience and again, strength to endure the humbling and hard times; and the healer and shaman, Eir – who not only was the “best of physicians” but also Galina Krasskova explains “is a good Goddess to call upon when facing the proverbial ‘dark night of the soul.'”  Though I haven’t set an altar up to Eir (or any of these Goddesses as of yet), I did find the meditation outlined in Krasskova’s book to Eir very soothing and relaxing – a meditation and a place that I would very much like to visit.

Thinking about and taking a good hard look at the 9 Noble Noble Virtues of Heathnery (Courage; Discipline; Fidelity; Honor; Hospitality; Industriousness; Perseverance; Self-Reliance and Truth), I found that they are very similar to the ADF’s Nine Virtues (Wisdom; Piety; Vision; Courage; Integrity; Perseverance; Hospitality; Moderation and Fertility).  Examining each virtue – where I fall short or where I feel I’m in a good place – is a must, I feel, in order to better my life…plus, I need to write an essay on the Nine Virtues as part of completing the ADF’s Dedicant Path.

jera

So, last night I dreamed of runes – lots of runes swirling around, in and out of the familiar mists that accompanies my spiritual dreams.  One rune that stuck out was Jera.  One thing that really resonated with me with the rune Jera, according to Runesecrets.com, was that “Jera has to do with right timing. Jera is in the maxim ‘This too shall pass’, the proverb, ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’, and in the modern adage, ‘time heals all wounds.’ Using this rune is the key to understanding the mysteries of time and the psychological importance of dividing and managing time.  Deadlines bring out the best in us and motivate us to grow to levels beyond our present ability. It also moves us to strategically taking action when the time is right. Take advantage of the ups and coast through the downs.”  Apparently, Eir is very much tied to this rune as well.

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“Rosebud Sunset” by =wonenownlee

Frigg gives me a sense of strength, duty, and responsibility.  Sif gives me a sense of hope for the future – not the immediate future – but the future that is several years off from now.  I can’t help but feel Sif’s presence in the quote by Anaïs Nin, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  I have felt this pain for a very long time, and in time, when the time is right, I too will blossom find happiness and fulfillment.

It’s 10 o’clock on Sunday, the husband has safely made to his destination thousands of miles away for the next few months, the kids are tucked into bed and what am I doing?  Why, catching up on my blogging of course!  So here we go…FINALLY starting on Module 3.

1.  When I was a child, I did learn and recite prayers.  Did I have to?  Hhmm, yes and no.  It didn’t feel like at the time that I “had to”; it was more of a fun thing to do with my parents and made me feel grown-up in a sense to recite them with the adults at church.  Of course, I learned the “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, “Glory Be to the Father” and the “Apostles’ Creed”, the “Nicene Creed” and of course the corresponding Mysteries (i.e. the Joyful Mysteries, the Sorrowful Mysteries, etc.).   I only remember the first three.  I also remember the Grace my Dad taught us to recite before every meal.  They really don’t hold the same meaning to me now as they did when I was a kid or young teenager.  I am partial to the “Hail Mary” if I had to choose one of them.  Well, also Grace before meals, but I want to tweak that one and incorporate that into my own practice and share with my kiddies.

     

2.  Books that have been influential on my spiritual path…The first one would be Scott Cunningham’s “Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner“.  Another one would be “When, Why…If” by Robin Wood.  This was an awesome workbook dealing with ethics.  It was a quick and easy read and one that you could work through over and over again, journaling as you go, seeing how you’ve changed from year to year.  Along the lines of ethics, “An’ Ye Harm None” by Shelley TSivia Rabinovitch and Meredith Macdonald.  This book isn’t so much as a “how to” guideline type book, but actually teaches you and makes you think and reason.  It makes you stop and look at how you do things and the impact your actions have.  I got in a bit of a spiritual rut a several years back and found “The Second Circle: Tools for the Advancing Pagan” by Venecia Rauls quite refreshing and stimulating.  “Practicing the Presence of the Goddess: Everyday Rituals to Transform Your World” by Barbara Ardinger was also another quick and easy read that helped me out of my rut.

    

I loved Dianne Sylvane’s book “The Body Sacred“.  This book helped me immensely after the births of my two babies to appreciate my body, even though it had changed so much and I looked upon it as “ruined”.  Carol P. Christ’s book, “Rebirth of the Goddess” made me view the Goddess and the role of women in a whole new and different light (as can be viewed in this conversation between E.C. Erdmann and Carol P. Christ – which heavily influenced or brought out my Dianic nature).  “Descent to the Goddess” by Sylvia Brinton Perera was just all kinds of awesomeness that really helped me understand and come to know the Dark Goddess a little better and come to know myself a lot better as can be read in my post “Archetypes – Ascending From the Shadow“.  Most recently, I’ve started reading “The Solitary Druid” by Rev. Robert Lee (Skip) Ellison.  I’m about half way through it and it has given me a better understanding hard polytheism vs my softer polytheistic outlook.

3.  With a lot of these books, I was quite new to Wicca and Paganism, especially Cunningham’s “Wicca” (come on, isn’t this everyone’s first book?).  “When, Why…If” was kind of a mandatory reading for the coven I was in 5 years ago and an eye opener.  “An’ Ye Harm None” was a further look at ethics that I really enjoyed – another eye opener.  “The Second Circle” and “Practicing the Presence of the Goddess” got me out of my rut because they helped me to find the magic in the mundane and everyday life vs only finding magic in a coven setting.  Actually, “The Second Circle” got me interested in exploring a Druid now that I think about it.  “Rebirth of the Goddess” was a long read that made me question my reading comprehension abilities, LoL!  There were some pages, even paragraphs that I had to read over and over again, but well worth it!   It opened my eyes as to how universal the Goddess is and how She makes Her presence known throughout the different parts of the world.  “Descent to the Goddess” helped me understand my Dark Self and Shadow.  “The Solitary Druid” I’m trying to balance with “A Dance with Dragons” and seems to be a quick and easily comprehensible read.  I really don’t use or adhere to the Wiccan principles anymore.  I kind feel like I already know them, yeah, they served their purpose, but I’ve outgrown Wicca – a long time ago actually and that’s how I got into my rut back in like 2009.  I still use the ethic and principles in my everyday life and conscious decisions I make and obviously hold the Goddess in all of Her forms and guises in very high regard.  She is VERY high up there on my hierarchy of priorities if you will.  As for “The Body Sacred”, I’m still working on fully appreciating my (well not so new body now) changed body and accepting those changes.  I’m a lot better with it than I was say 2 years ago – so applying those principles is still a work in progress…

4.  I haven’t done any hard-core research on these authors.  I do know that Carol P. Christ started out as a Christian pursuing her Ph.D. in Religious Studies at Yale and later went on to become one of the strongest leaders of the feminist spirituality movement.  I do follow the Feminism and Religion blog on WordPress, so I have the pleasure of reading posts from Carol P. Christ and Barbara Ardinger.  As Dianne Sylvane has explained in this course, she also started out Christian, practiced Wicca but no longer considers herself Wiccan, as her beliefs and practices have changed and evolved into a more eclectic spiritual practice I’d say.  I also live close enough to the ADF Muin Mound Grove in Syracuse to attend High Day celebrations and chat with Rev. Robert Lee (Skip) Ellison, but I haven’t sat down with him and interviewed him about his life’s story or path.

This was a very thought provoking read. Very appropriate and pertinent to the Spiritual Nomad course and those walking a Solitary Path or in the process of developing their own Paths.

Meanderings

I drop to one knee and scoop up a handful of earth. It is dry, granular, and loose; it falls easily through my fingers. A fine plume of dust is carried off by the slight breeze as it falls between my fingers. This is not soil; it is dirt. It will not grow much unless something organic is added; there is no life in it.

In the Beginning…

When I was young, I was full of life. I was full of dreams. I watched the dream of the ages fulfilled as the first man set foot upon the Moon. I was inspired, but the dream ended.

The people were satisfied with themselves. There was nothing they wanted to do except enjoy the fruits of their labors. Their great accomplishment spawned a myriad of new toys. The people then sat in their easy chairs, playing with their shiny new toys, and…

View original post 1,845 more words

Yes, I’ve decided to pick back up on the Spiritual Nomad course.  I only made it through Module 2 and will be starting on Module 3 shortly.  I needed time though – I needed time to explore, think about and accept Truths that had been revealed to me during these past several months without rushing through things just to get them done or say “I completed the course”.

A lot of really cool stuff is happening for me right now.  Yesterday, we had we had the Full Strawberry Moon, or Rose Moon.  This evening, we had the Transit of Venus.  I can feel the changes happening…I can feel healing taking place.  Yesterday, I felt as though I was starting fit the pieces together, getting on the track and doing what I’m supposed to do.  Last week, I got an invitation to come out for a “meet and greet” with a local Druid, Grey Catsidhe, with the Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship (ADF) who found me through the ADF site (though I wasn’t part of the ADF and that person subsequently disappeared off the site no sooner had she “found” me) and Witchvox. Of course, I was very excited as I have not yet gotten out and about to meet people in the “community” up here.  The Goddess must’ve thought it was time to leave my cave.

Meeting with her and the other 3 people who showed up at a local restaurant was refreshing.  You see, I had met some really awesome people in Alaska who belonged to the ADF who had a really great lasting impression on me.  They really impressed me with their beliefs, attitudes, seriousness of actually living their spirituality every day rather than being a “play-gan”, only “living” their spirituality at sabbats and festivals.  What they explained to me that the ADF believed coincided with my own beliefs and core attitude.  After listening to her talk about her beliefs and practice, it was completely inline with my friends’ attitudes and beliefs back in Alaska 3,000 miles away. I decided that night to take the plunge and join the ADF.  Yesterday I got the welcome e-mail from the ADF to set up my account.

  

I also decided reset my altar back up yesterday.  As I cleaned the altar space and took each piece out, it felt like coming home to something warm and familiar.  I felt as though I was coming home to Brighid.  She had been off in a distance lately – or maybe it was me who was distancing off in the distance from Her.  I had left “home”, was out exploring and playing with other “kids” on different playgrounds and had come to absolutely love and respect Shakti and Inanna.  I felt that I learned and made some wonderful breakthroughs with Them, (getting a greater understanding of the true nature of the Great Goddess with Shakti and personal healing with Inanna). But yesterday, I decided it was time to go home.  It felt like putting on that soft old worn-out sweatshirt, you know the one – the one that you’ve had for at least 8 or 9 years that’s been washed a thousand times.  It might have a few holes and stains on it, but feels so warm and comforting when you put it on.  That’s how I felt when I came back to Brighid’s warm and welcoming “arms” as She enfolded me with love, welcoming me home as any good and gracious mother would.  There was no jealousy, no resentment, no animosity or “I-told-you-so’s”; only a loving welcoming back to Her child.

I belong to Brighid.  There is no doubt in my heart, mind or soul.  Of course, She already knew that.  She also knows and understands that you have to let your children out to freely explore the world, gaining an understanding, wisdom and knowledge from different places before settling down so as not to have any wonderings or doubts about what might be out there.  She understands that in satisfying these curiosities, one comes to know exactly what they want and what is right for them (unlike other insanely jealous deitites that I know of who’d threaten to strike you down dead if you even so much as looked at another deity).  One is then free to use and apply that newly acquired wisdom to further themselves on their own Path.

I actually started to feel Her energies stir as I had set up my outdoor sacred space a few weeks back.  It was started with Cordelia, and then entered Sulis.  It was ever so more strongly with Sulis – who in fact, has staked Her claim on my outdoor sacred space (who also has a connection with Brighid – go figure).  She seems quite comfortable there and has no intentions of leaving.  Her energy is ALL OVER this space!  (In a good way of course.)

I also cleaned my ancestors’ altar and added a simple candle holder to burn a tealight candle everyday for them.  That felt really good and fulfilling.

I did quite a bit of healing last night under the Full Strawberry Moon – VERY sour and painful at first.  Spider (a cellar spider I think) delicately came along and stealthily landed on my leg, showing me the ways of gracefulness and understanding the ways of how the past and present are linked; how we weave ourselves into sticky situations and must use wisdom, knowledge, and grace to see our ways out – letting go of our pride in order to do so.  Strangely, I felt no fear or alarm as I calmly let her crawl onto my finger so I could release her outside.  I could actually feel her energy; it was warm, comforting, all knowing and ever so delicate.  Hopefully with her help, I can weave the life I want.

The night did however end on a sweet note – with a brief “visit” to some unknown ocean shore.  The skies were overcast and the waves a greenish-grey breaking foamy white.  Aphrodite was in the background somewhere, though I could not see Her.  Needless to say, it was a very healing and pleasant vision.

I could feel the lasting healing effects today and even as I write this now.  I hope this feeling lasts.  I hope that it’s not just the effects of the Strawberry Moon and the Transit of Venus.  I guess its up to me though, right?  I’m anxious to start my ADF path and I hope I can let go of the hurt and pain that I’ve carried with me for so many years – afraid of letting it go.  I’ve carried it for so long; it feels as though it’s a part of Me.  I’ve felt as though if I ever truly let it go, that I’d compromise myself and lose a piece of me.  But it’s time to transition…it’s time to let it all go, heal and be on my way.

KONY 2012

I just finished watching this video about 20 minutes ago and wow… I knew this was going on in Africa – the abduction of young boys to fill armies, but to be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure what the real deal was.  This video does a marvelous job describing  and bringing awareness to the situation in Uganda, but leaves out a key factor as to what started this war.  It leaves out the fact that Kony, leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) is committing these evil acts because he believes “God” (the Christian one) spoke to him and told him to create a theocratic government in Uganda. Thousands of years ago, when “God” speaks and commands that a city of people be obliterated, including women and children, its a loving bible story. (Ezekiel 9:5-7, Exodus 12: 29-30, 1 Samuel 15: 2-3).  The same thing happens today.  We finally acknowledge it as an act of terrorism, hatred and violence.

Nonetheless, PLEASE take 30 minutes from your time and watch this video and share it!  KONY 2012 is a film and campaign by Invisible Children that aims to make Joseph Kony famous, not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice.

 

 

Now, I’ve read some criticism about the Invisible Children on Facebook, stating that “The organization behind Kony 2012 — Invisible Children Inc. — is an extremely shady nonprofit that has been called ‘misleading,’ ‘naive,’ and ‘dangerous’ by a Yale political science professor, and has been accused by Foreign Affairs of ‘manipulat[ing] facts for strategic purposes.’ They have also been criticized by the Better Business Bureau for refusing to provide information necessary to determine if IC meets the Bureau’s standards.”  Click here to visit PoliticalTruths.info’s article, “Daily Kos: Do NOT Donate to “Kony 2012”.  You will be able to view their expenditure report in that entry. Click here to read the Invisible Children’s organization response to criticism.  The important thing here is to DO THE RESEARCH!  Educate yourself before making any rash or hasty decisions and getting swept up in the viral craze.

Donate, don’t donate…it’s your decision; but PLEASE become aware!  Kony is responsible for the enslavement of 30,000 children. Over a period of nearly 30 years, Kony has forced boys to kill their parents and turned girls into sex slaves because “God” told him to.  Something is very very wrong with this…

This is what I have always believed, right down to the very core of my soul and being.

I was told a long time ago by an awesome US Army Reserve Chaplain I worked for that there were 5 steps or stages people go through before becoming “enlightened”.  I wish to the gods that I could remember word for word what he had said, but I remember him saying that the steps included being told what was “right” and “wrong” by our parents; spiritual guidance from the church or religious institution; pondering the guidance and internalizing it; experience and gaining knowledge – living your life; purging the beliefs that you were taught that no longer suit or benefit you; then coming to an understanding and no longer needing to be told what to do – you have your own internal moral compass to guide you and tell you what’s “right” and “wrong”.  Sometimes he said, people need to take a step or two back at different points in their lives.  This would be I would think if the Universe throws you a curve ball or a Karmic bitch slap if you keep missing the point of  a lesson that is being taught to you.

“Don’t speak to me about your religion; first show it to me in how you treat other people. 
Don’t tell me how much you love your god; show me in how much you love all his children. 
Don’t preach to me your passion for your faith; teach me through your compassion for your neighbors. 
In the end, I’m not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as I am in how you choose to live and give…” ~ Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark, New Jersey

 

I saw this on Facebook yesterday and I just couldn’t help but to share it.  It of builds off Module 2’s Question 1.  Wish I was there… 😉

"Firedance" by Julia C. R. Gray

“We danced too wild, and we sang too long, and we hugged too hard, and we kissed too sweet, and howled just as loud as we wanted to howl, because by now we were all old enough to know that what looks like ‘crazy’ on an ordinary day looks a lot Like love if you catch it in the moonlight.”

~ Kim Voller

1.  A spiritual experience that I’ve never felt comfortable talking about because it seemed too “out there” or “silly”; Hhmmm…I’ve had quite a bit of “out there” experiences, nothing that I would consider “silly” because they felt so real to me.  I’ve been to some fairly large rituals hosted by the Council of Magickal Arts down in Cistern, TX where the energy was so strong and “thick” that it just surrounded and engulfed you, swooping you off your feet, figuratively speaking of course (well, for some actually quite literally – but that could have been in conjunction with a little too much mead, who knows, LoL!).  The energy would just take you over, make you move and dance like you’ve never moved and danced before while transfixed on the huge flames of the bonfire shooting up into the night sky as the drummers frantically banged away on their drums, feeding off the energy of the dancers who fed off the energy of the fire and the beats coming out of the rhythms and beats coming out of the  drums – like an Ouroboros.  You just felt the “real” world fade away.  It didn’t matter anymore; it didn’t exist anymore. You were somewhere else in some other place and time, here in the now, in this place and this time; in your own place and time as the others too seemed to slip out of your consciousness, yet at the same time all connected and in harmony within the shared place and time.

Just remembering these experiences, the memories brings me to tears, even now as I write this as I have so terribly missed THAT, all of it.  It’s been just about 4 years since I’ve left Texas and haven’t been to such a festival since.  I miss the sense of being in that “other place”, where you feel like as soon as you drive up the driveway into the woods onto The Land, that you’ve come home to spend 4 spiritually fulfilling days and 3 crazy nights with about 300+ of your closest Brothers and Sisters.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been to some community open circle rituals in which the bond of “kinship” and friendship  was so strong that I left with a wonderful sense of spiritual fulfillment.  I’ve participated in some closed rituals with those whom I trusted and left feeling overjoyed and loved.  In my own solitary rituals, I’ve felt the Goddess within me, felt Her love, heard Her words.  Sometimes, it was a physical feeling, like having a hot flash overcome you during a ritual while you’re seated and perfectly still in a room that’s “room temperature” yet burning up until you ground the energies and release the circle.  Sometimes, it’s an overwhelming feeling of being so infused with pure love and pure joy that you start crying your eyes out because you’re just brimming with those energies.

Does that sound “out there” or “silly”?  No, not in the least.

 

2.  With the three objects that I originally placed back on my altar, I know that Brighid feels “right” back in Her place.  The water felt “right”.  The incense holder…something not quite right – unbalanced.  Perhaps because it is so much smaller/shorter than my “well”.  My altar DEFINITELY needs a flame.  I lit a tealight candle on my altar placed on the incense holder, but it still wasn’t quite right.  I switched it out with a taper candle and holder about the same height as the “well”.  Better – but the candle holder doesn’t feel “right”.  This may not be as much a “spiritual” thing as it is a “Virgo” thing though I suspect, LoL!

To be honest, I’m not really missing the other items right now.  I opened up the cabinet tonight that is currently housing my other items and I really didn’t want to put them back up.  I mean, my heart jumped ever so slightly as one’s heart would feeling happy to see something or someone that they were particularly fond of who they hadn’t seen in awhile.  My altar, truth be told, actually feels less cluttered.  It still kind of feels “incomplete”, but I don’t know what to put back on it right now.

 

3.  I would describe my spiritual practice actively discovering, embracing and sharing the knowledge of the Feminine Divine to empower myself and my sisters while seeking Nirvana…with a hint of Dianism.  While I understand the concept of balance between the masculine and the feminine, I feel that scales are already tipped too far or weighted down with patriarchal religious influences.  I have to surround myself with the Feminine Divine just to tip the scales back the other way in a desperate attempt to balance out that grievous unbalance and injustice.

 

4.  What I find uninspiring is any religion is fundamentalism and conservativeness.  I don’t find twisting a faith to benefit one in their quest for power and control at all inspiring.  I think its very negative, oppressive and doesn’t allow flexibility or room for change and growth.  I really can’t stand it when one preaches on a pulpit or “soapbox”, looking down on the group they’re talking at, screaming “thou shalts” and  “thou shalt nots”; spewing venomous hate and ignorance, inciting intolerance, fear and violence.  There is nothing, I mean NOTHING inspiring or loving about that.  You know that when one or a group calls for and promotes the rape and murder of those who are different than they are (whether physically, mentality wise or spiritually), there’s something fundamentally wrong. [1]  When a group prays to their god(s) for the death and destruction of those who live a different lifestyle or worship differently and rejoices in their deaths, there’s something not quite right. [2]  You know that when a group seeks to dominate and oppress another group because of differing religious beliefs or their sex by means of intimidation, physical violence, and passing restrictive legislation, there’s something wrong. [3] You know that when a group of grown men verbally harasses an 8 year old girl on her way to school because her skirt is “too short”, there’s something wrong. [4]  Something is very wrong when it is OK to splash acid in the face of a woman to permanently disfigure her because she refused a marriage proposal. [5]  Something is very twisted when a 15 year old girl becomes pregnant because she was raped by a member of the church and then made to stand in front of the congregation to apologize for her “sin” and sent away across the country to have the baby. [6]  Something is very wrong when its OK to sexually abuse children and diligent steps are taken by Higher Ups in order to hide it; only years later for a Cardinal to come saying that “He’s no longer sorry, and he no longer believes that the priests who molested, beat, raped, and ruined all of those children’s lives even did anything wrong…evens goes so far as to say, ‘They can talk about sex abuse or talk about their concern about finance—that’s alright. I believe the sex abuse thing was incredibly good.’[7]

These are but a few examples that immediately came to mind.  I could go on and on and end up writing volumes of atrocities committed against mankind, all in the name of God or Allah or because “God” told them it was the right thing to do.

Here’s a clue, if your “God” or Holy Text is calling for torture, permanent disfiguration, rape and the murder of your fellow human beings, then it’s probably not God whispering in your ear and God is surely not influencing what is being written to be perceived as the “Word of God”.

 

UNINSPIRING

            

THIS FEELS OFF

 

To tell you the truth, sometimes I believe that Gnostics and Atheists have it right.  I can think of no other two religions that have caused so much pain, torture, bloodshed and death.  Maybe that came out a little harsh – I’m not trying to beat up anyone’s religion here…let me rephrase that…I can think of no other religious followers other than that of Christianity or Islam that have twisted the words to be used to cause so pain, torture, bloodshed and death.  A little better?

 

But then again, I’ve had my own personal experiences with the Goddess, so Atheism wouldn’t work out all that well for me.

So, this week, I’ve begun Module 2.  In this module, we are able to start putting items back on our altars, but only three.  This was very intriguing because I had a dream several nights ago that I had started setting my altar back up.  I was told by some anonymous authority that I could only put the bare essentials on it.  In my dream, I placed my little well that holds a little container of water from the well at Kildare, Ireland; my Brighid statue and a candle holder on it.  So, when I read Module 2, I got a little chuckle and a chill…Was there any doubt then what three items that I would place back on my altar?

I was going to place my ceramic cream colored domed tealight candle holder back on it, but opted to go with my incense holder instead because it could double as a tealight holder and a incense holder. Interestingly enough, tonight is also my shift for flamekeeping with the Tuatha de Brighid, so my “day” flamekeeping candle is on there as well until my shift is over tomorrow night.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about who to place on my “Guru Board”.  I believe that it is pretty much complete at this point.  I’ve listed a lot of people; but all of these people have an influence on my outlook on life and the development of my spiritual life.

Click here to visit my “Guru Board” on Pinterest.

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