Yes, I’ve decided to pick back up on the Spiritual Nomad course. I only made it through Module 2 and will be starting on Module 3 shortly. I needed time though – I needed time to explore, think about and accept Truths that had been revealed to me during these past several months without rushing through things just to get them done or say “I completed the course”.
A lot of really cool stuff is happening for me right now. Yesterday, we had we had the Full Strawberry Moon, or Rose Moon. This evening, we had the Transit of Venus. I can feel the changes happening…I can feel healing taking place. Yesterday, I felt as though I was starting fit the pieces together, getting on the track and doing what I’m supposed to do. Last week, I got an invitation to come out for a “meet and greet” with a local Druid, Grey Catsidhe, with the Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship (ADF) who found me through the ADF site (though I wasn’t part of the ADF and that person subsequently disappeared off the site no sooner had she “found” me) and Witchvox. Of course, I was very excited as I have not yet gotten out and about to meet people in the “community” up here. The Goddess must’ve thought it was time to leave my cave.
Meeting with her and the other 3 people who showed up at a local restaurant was refreshing. You see, I had met some really awesome people in Alaska who belonged to the ADF who had a really great lasting impression on me. They really impressed me with their beliefs, attitudes, seriousness of actually living their spirituality every day rather than being a “play-gan”, only “living” their spirituality at sabbats and festivals. What they explained to me that the ADF believed coincided with my own beliefs and core attitude. After listening to her talk about her beliefs and practice, it was completely inline with my friends’ attitudes and beliefs back in Alaska 3,000 miles away. I decided that night to take the plunge and join the ADF. Yesterday I got the welcome e-mail from the ADF to set up my account.
I also decided reset my altar back up yesterday. As I cleaned the altar space and took each piece out, it felt like coming home to something warm and familiar. I felt as though I was coming home to Brighid. She had been off in a distance lately – or maybe it was me who was distancing off in the distance from Her. I had left “home”, was out exploring and playing with other “kids” on different playgrounds and had come to absolutely love and respect Shakti and Inanna. I felt that I learned and made some wonderful breakthroughs with Them, (getting a greater understanding of the true nature of the Great Goddess with Shakti and personal healing with Inanna). But yesterday, I decided it was time to go home. It felt like putting on that soft old worn-out sweatshirt, you know the one – the one that you’ve had for at least 8 or 9 years that’s been washed a thousand times. It might have a few holes and stains on it, but feels so warm and comforting when you put it on. That’s how I felt when I came back to Brighid’s warm and welcoming “arms” as She enfolded me with love, welcoming me home as any good and gracious mother would. There was no jealousy, no resentment, no animosity or “I-told-you-so’s”; only a loving welcoming back to Her child.
I belong to Brighid. There is no doubt in my heart, mind or soul. Of course, She already knew that. She also knows and understands that you have to let your children out to freely explore the world, gaining an understanding, wisdom and knowledge from different places before settling down so as not to have any wonderings or doubts about what might be out there. She understands that in satisfying these curiosities, one comes to know exactly what they want and what is right for them (unlike other insanely jealous deitites that I know of who’d threaten to strike you down dead if you even so much as looked at another deity). One is then free to use and apply that newly acquired wisdom to further themselves on their own Path.
I actually started to feel Her energies stir as I had set up my outdoor sacred space a few weeks back. It was started with Cordelia, and then entered Sulis. It was ever so more strongly with Sulis – who in fact, has staked Her claim on my outdoor sacred space (who also has a connection with Brighid – go figure). She seems quite comfortable there and has no intentions of leaving. Her energy is ALL OVER this space! (In a good way of course.)
I also cleaned my ancestors’ altar and added a simple candle holder to burn a tealight candle everyday for them. That felt really good and fulfilling.
I did quite a bit of healing last night under the Full Strawberry Moon – VERY sour and painful at first. Spider (a cellar spider I think) delicately came along and stealthily landed on my leg, showing me the ways of gracefulness and understanding the ways of how the past and present are linked; how we weave ourselves into sticky situations and must use wisdom, knowledge, and grace to see our ways out – letting go of our pride in order to do so. Strangely, I felt no fear or alarm as I calmly let her crawl onto my finger so I could release her outside. I could actually feel her energy; it was warm, comforting, all knowing and ever so delicate. Hopefully with her help, I can weave the life I want.
The night did however end on a sweet note – with a brief “visit” to some unknown ocean shore. The skies were overcast and the waves a greenish-grey breaking foamy white. Aphrodite was in the background somewhere, though I could not see Her. Needless to say, it was a very healing and pleasant vision.
I could feel the lasting healing effects today and even as I write this now. I hope this feeling lasts. I hope that it’s not just the effects of the Strawberry Moon and the Transit of Venus. I guess its up to me though, right? I’m anxious to start my ADF path and I hope I can let go of the hurt and pain that I’ve carried with me for so many years – afraid of letting it go. I’ve carried it for so long; it feels as though it’s a part of Me. I’ve felt as though if I ever truly let it go, that I’d compromise myself and lose a piece of me. But it’s time to transition…it’s time to let it all go, heal and be on my way.