“The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life literally takes place.” ~ Barbara DeAngelis
So, here I am…on another journey of discovery. I’ve just recently signed up to participate in Dianne Sylvan’s 6 week e-course entitled “Spiritual Nomads”. I am Pagan Proud – I absolutely love Paganism and the personal freedom to be who I truly am. I love the tolerance and acceptance I’ve found within the Pagan community. And most importantly, I LOVE the Goddess!
The path that I follow is not an easy path at times. You do have to think for yourself and use your own common sense and moral compass as there are no set laws in stone that says “Thou shall do this” or “Thou shalt not do that”. There is no forgiveness to absolve you of your sins…only Karma, The Three-Fold Law and cause and effect.
It’s all about being conscious of your every action or lack of action and how that affects others around you. It’s about taking personal responsibility and dealing with consequences of your actions or inactions.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always felt that “God” wanted to be worshipped outside, in the woods by a stream…I pictured a stone altar with fresh cut flowers in my sacred little place. This was before I knew anything about Paganism, Wicca, or Witchcraft. I just felt it and knew it to be True.
Years later, I would find myself going back to the Catholic church with my grandmother – searching for someone or something that I could connect with. Mother Mary was a temporary fix who was sorely missing in the Episcopalian church that my father had brought us to. Mary was close to what I was seeking, but not quite it…Eventually, curiosity led me to research Witta, which led me to Wicca, which led me to Scott Cunningham’s “Living Wicca”. It would be years later when I moved to TX that I got closer to finding what I was searching for when I ventured out and joined an Eclectic Pagan coven with a strong Wiccan base in which I started my “formal training” in Central Texas. I eventually started feeling bored with Wicca. I had gotten past the newbie “Fluff Bunny” stage and wondered to myself, “Is this it?”
Then, it was off to Alaska and many life changes. I read a few books, “The Body Sacred” by Dianne Sylvan, “The Second Circle” by Venecia Rauls and “Rebirth of the Goddess” by Carol P. Christ. I can most definitely say that these three books had a huge part in shaping my spirituality and helped me realize that I wasn’t Wiccan; yet, I had no idea what I was. It was liberating, yet frustrating at the same time. I liked being the “lone wolf”, setting out on my own, discovering my own Truth…but still longed to belong somewhere…
I started researching Buddhism in my isolation, fell in love with Tara, but didn’t feel a strong connection – though I do admit I love the philosophy. After a long time of mourning the move from my first “chosen family”, I finally ventured out again to connect with the Pagan community in Anchorage at the local UU church and became active with the CUUPS chapter – the Arctic Circle of Anchorage. I met some awesome people who sparked my interest in Druidry…yet, I couldn’t find a tradition that really spoke to me that gave me “This is it!” feeling. I’ve also felt a draw to investigate the Northern Tradition of Asatru – I love their Gods (especially Skadi and Odin) and the Nine Noble Virtues, but there are few ideas that I’m not so inline with (i.e. hard polytheism and the belief that there’s a final battle, Ragnarok – that will kill the Gods and end the world).
Then, it was back to NY. Finding myself in isolation, yet again from a physical Pagan community, it is a good time to re-evaluate my Spiritual Path, to look back at where I came from, where I am now and where I feel I need to go. So, here I am…wandering, trailblazing and seeking my Truth and knowledge…